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And then there was the meat-eating vegan. WHAT !?
I feel completely lost and without a definition, so I will use this public forum to try to find one better than the title of this blog.
<<REWIND>>
Me as flower girl.
My nan will tell you I grew up eating meat and five vege followed by bread and butter pudding pretty much every night throughout my formative years. Needless to say I was a pudgy kid who has continued to struggle with marginal over-weightness ever since. I wasn’t brought up vegetarian, let alone vegan. Nan’s not convinced veganism is entirely natural.
Then I read Peter Singer’s “The Ethics of What We Eat” following a light-bulb visit to Sea Shepherd’s Steve Irwin vegan war ship while docked in Melbourne. I had to make waves in my life. Tsunamis.
I didn’t want to be a part of the blind inhumanity for an instant longer. Fiona and I committed to becoming vegan whole-heartedly and spent many months researching the changes we would need to make while gradually implementing them.
We changed our shopping list, I sold my car and bought a bike (she’s beautiful), we made our own perfumes and resolved never to use products that necessitated harm on any sentient being in their making.
My greatest concern was turning into a pasty, anaemic-looking apostrophe of a person due to an unbalanced diet. I didn’t ever want to have to return to eating meat because I implemented vegan eating incorrectly.
We have been out and proud in our veganism as much as we are with our dykeness. Friends have become vegetarian due to conversations with us followed by their own awakenings and some are now raising vegetarian kids. Ace!
I have many wiry vegan friends and a little voice inside my head was quietly hoping that becoming vegan and eating more naturally would help me gain the physical equilibrium I have been craving all of my life.
Tango Pose!
Despite trying many exercise regimes of varying intensities (including 3 personal training sessions per week for months, training 30 hours a week with Fiona in ballroom Latin American dancing and at other times running 3-5kms 3-4 times per week – I’m no lazy bum on the couch) and long term trials of various food plans (based on Skinny Bitch, water and juice detoxes, vegan versions of BodyTrim, raw food and generally eating healthily) I had to face the fact that after 4 years of veganism, I had steadily gained 10kgs.
Something had to give. I had tried tweaking a vegan based diet in every direction in order to shift weight however every regime ended with no weight loss and eventual weight gain.
I then read Timothy Ferris’ “The 4 Hour Body” and I was truly torn. Both Tim and Geoff from BodyTrim note that shifting weight on a vegetarian diet is difficult due to the high carbohydrate levels in all vegan protein sources (legumes, tempeh, soy beans etc). Mum and I took on BodyTrim, I on my vegan regime and mum eating animals. I lost nothing, mum lost 3kgs.
I spent several months contemplating a return to eating animals, but after reading The 4 Hour Body, I decided to make the shift back to carnivorism. I can no longer justify compromising my health for the sake of my ethics.
With some of the rescued cows at Edgar's Mission.
I only ever gave up meat because intellectually I disagreed with the way animals, beings, are mass-produced for consumption in developed countries. I was moved to action because of the unnecessary cruelty, waste and environmental damage which exists due to our over consumption of dead animal flesh. Conversely, I love eating meat. I love the taste and the texture and despite my thorough awareness of what I am consuming, I had no trouble whatsoever in cleaning my plate at Christmas this year.
Morally and ethically I feel wrong, almost dirty and ashamed. I don’t know what to do with all my vegan contacts. I worry I will be judged harshly.
I’m losing weight, my cholesterol is leveling out, my menstrual cycle is returning to normal (sorry if that’s too much info, but over the past 4 years I have also had serious disruptions with my ovaries) and I feel great. Go figure.
I’m now buying organic free range meat from the Victoria Market and am totally appreciative of the massive choice I now have when eating as a conscious carnivore.
Bingo! I got my label. I am a conscious car-less carnivore.
I say a little thank you prayer for the life that was lost before every meal, I hope that the being I’m consuming lived a happy life and died quickly and painlessly.
I know I will be a revolving-door vegetarian, I don’t think I will eat meat every day for the rest of my life. I know veganism is the highest moral code, it is the way we should all live from an ethical perspective – but it seems my digestive system and metabolism don’t necessarily agree.
For the time being, if the machine that is my body will run more efficiently when I consume flesh, then the being that is my soul and intellect will just have to take a rest from it’s soap box for a change.
I am now completely and utterly connected to and understanding of what I am consuming. I know a beings life was extinguished for the food I eat, and I appreciate the enormity of that. I don’t eat steak and pork, I eat cow and pig muscle. That should make us all feel uncomfortable enough to find some consciousness.
I’m fascinated to know if there are others who are in my position, grappling with the same moral and nutritional dilemmas.
Jade
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Great post!! It all makes totally sense. Respect!
You are not alone. For years, I tried to be a vegetarian. But the soy products cause weight gain in my midsection. I never completely cut out fish & chicken, but I ate a lot of soy on top of that.
Between the weight gain & all the soy, my menstrual cycle also stopped. I cut out most of the soy and started eating more fish & chicken again.
This post is amazing. And I love hearing that I am not alone and others have had similar experiences.
I love this. I’ve been a fairly strict vegetarian for almost 2 yrs now, but my outlook on eating meat has changed somewhat over time. I love traveling and one of the best ways of experiencing another culture is through food. I feel like my vegetarian “title” has held me back from enjoying that lately. My reasons for going vegetarian were because of the unnatural way that animals in this country are raised, but in other countries that’s not really an issue. I realize I’m rambling now, but I just wanted to say that you’re not the only one! I think you can still love and care for the earth AND eat meat at the same time.
You are not alone!
I’m a vegetarian (for two years now) and it has completely destroyed my metabolism. The combination of intense athletic training and low calorie consumption over the years has lowered my metabolism by about 1000 calories (I exercise enough that I should eat around 3000, but if I eat more than 2000 my weight starts to change). Add onto these nutritional problems the fact that I’m a college student with an extremely small income and it becomes not only a dietary issue, but a huge health problem.
Luckily, my campus offers free nutritional counseling and I’m taking advantage of it. Truly nothing is worse than realizing you’re accidentally eating less than 1500 calories a day but still gaining weight.
I followed your link here from Tumblr. I just wanted to let you know that I admire every effort you’ve made to do the right thing, even reverting back to eating meat. The fact that you make a commitment to eating the healthier, more humane varieties is fantastic. I’ve been a vegetarian and animal rights advocate for my whole life, and I’m going to college in hopes to earn both a veterinary degree and one that will allow me to work for a non-profit that helps animals, and I still think that you are doing the right thing. ☺
Hi all! Thanks so much for your comments. I am humbled.
Smaller – I have cut out soy almost completely, save the odd chai I have when out with friends. I don’t drink cows milk either, both create too much mucus. I think that many people over consume soy and derivatives when switching to a vege diet to compensate for lack of meat, but I truly don’t think we were ever meant to eat so much soy milk/yogurt/cheese/TVP etc. Fresh soy beans (edamame), yes. Processed soy, not so much.
Meg – I couldn’t agree more. We spent 12 months traveling in Asia as vegetarians, and while I’m sure it saved us many bouts of food poisoning (!), we missed out on so many local cuisines and experiences. At the time, Fiona and I discussed the difference in animal treatment when families and small businesses breed and keep free-roaming animals and then kill them in a quick and humane way VS western animal production. At the time we were not prepared to eat meat, but we discussed the possibilities for future travel. The dilemma also arises when you are traveling to extremely remote areas around the globe and there is nothing else to eat but goat and eggs.
Laura – thanks, I’m so glad I’m not alone!
Chelsea – I know there are those who condemn all who don’t follow a strict vegan lifestyle, and honestly, I know it is the right path from an ethical perspective. Thank you for your understanding.
Jade
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